Went to the psychiatrist this afternoon. Talked about everything that has been going on. Discussed options for where to go from here. After much discussion, we decided on medication changes to see if it will eleviate the intrusive thoughts and depression. The psychiatrist added a med to help with OCD as well help with stabilizing my mood. I am pretty anxious about trying a new med med right now but it is better than being in the hospital.
I apologise to everyone for blurting out my feelings the last few days but I needed an outlet to decompress before I made a stupid decision. I have not talked to people much about my feelings with people around me because I worry about feeling like a burden and worrying others feels awful and anxiety invoking. It is just easier to keep everything bottled up inside. Thank you for bearing with me as I have been in crisis the last few days. I promise I will be okay eventually and return to my normal self sooner or later.
Wendy
Never make promises about how soon you’ll be ok. And, if you feel compelled to anyway, never beat yourself up if it isn’t “sooner rather than later.” I can see that coming if this med fails, or something else happens. You’ll start to get better when you start to get better. As long as you are trying, no need to put further internal pressure of a timeline on it. The fight is hard enough without one.
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Thank you for your feedback. It is hard to know what to do right now. I feel like so many people are counting on me to improve. I need to hope that something will help right now. I need some Ray of hope to keep me going sad as that may sound.
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