Befuddled and the big black dog.

For once I am at a loss of a post title and how to explain the space I am in. Emotionally, I find myself all over the place. I have been sad and angry and tearful. I feel like a hot mess and don’t know how much I stress I am truly handle yet and that scares me. I am fragile both physically and emotionally. I have tried to recuperate over the weekend but it is not an easy fix. It took 6-8 weeks to get into this space so thinking I could move past it in a couple of days was unrealistic thinking on my part.

I am trying to find out how to get back on my feet while meeting responsibilities and obligations. I worry that I won’t be able to. I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts and while there is no plan to at on those thoughts or feelings it feels like it is too close to the edge for comfort. I am scared of those thoughts and just keep on telling myself that I have an appointment with the psychiatrist on Tuesday afternoon. I am afraid to talk to other about my feelings and thoughts because I don’t want them to over react. Sigh…

I think this mixed state stuff is the birds. Five minutes at a time, etc., Is about all I can handle right now.

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