One of the basic premises of Brene’Brown’s research on vulnerability is that all humans have a need for connection and belonging. She states that her research has shown that the more people feel a sense of these things, the more apt they are to be able to weather the update and downs of life that someone without them may not be able to as well.
Coming from a background where I grew up feeling unlovable and poisonous to those around me, accepting love from others is a very vulnerable feeling experience. This Summer has been a learning experience in vulnerability and the art of allowing love into my life.
It feels new and scary. Sometimes I feel as though I am still waiting for the bottom to fall out. It comes with my baggage from my PTSD and sometimes it feels like I don’t know what will trigger a past memory or feeling but I know I am staying in the present moment and not checking out and escaping onto my head now like I used to.
I used to believe that a whole list of things made me unlovable. I have been using CBT skills to challenge my faulty thinking and create new core beliefs. It’s hard work but I have faith that God will use it for good and challenge me to grow.