“Owning put story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy- the experiences that make us most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our life. – Brene’ Brown
Being vulnerable does not come easily for me. Every decision to be vulnerable and allow others to see a little bit further into my being comes with anxiety and second guessing.
It has less to do with the current people in my life than the people from the past who have broken my trust and made being vulnerable so very difficult. Growing up in my family, also, made sharing very risky and unsafe. So attempting to learn to trust others and discover who is and is not safe to share my story with is a bit overwhelming presently. However, remaining stuck and trusting no one is even more scary.
Being vulnerable makes me feel childlike and insecure, craving reassurance. I am learning though that it must come from me as I validate my own need to love and be love, to belong, and find joy in my life again.