Confusion, racing thoughts and vulnerability

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I have a hundred and one thoughts racing through my head today.  It comes after falling asleep without my meds for the first time without taking any meds whatsoever.  So I am not sure what today may hold.   So far it has been confusing feelings, racing thoughts and being vulnerable with a friend about some of the confusing emotions.

Trying to figure out and incorporate all of the things I’ve experienced, my strengths and weaknesses into the person I’m trying to accept and become is a daunting task some times.  I know I am getting closer each day to a bit of self actualization and getting unstuck in old patterns.  Admitting things and being vulnerable is so new that it still scares me.  Being amongst the frozen chosen for 10 years and trying to hide behind the “Polished and shined and everything’s fine” mask is tough to recover from.

Each day I allow you readers to see a bit of who I am and where I am is a step towards recovery.  Even if it is confusing and will take time to figure out for awhile longer.

W.L.

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