WARNING THIS POST’S CONTENT INCLUDES SUICIDE.
I went to the support group I attend in our area last night. I usually am not sure emotional and am quiet and have only recently begun sharing a bit more openly. Last night I came into the meeting raw emotionally from my dietician appt and ended ended up going last in the small group during the sharing. I ended up talking about a lot of things, but I shared about my friend who committed suicide six weeks ago yesterday. I had talked about it for awhile in the beginning after she died but a lot of people around me were worried about me and I just clammed up and stopped talking because I didn’t want to worry them.
Last night I chose to share how her death had impacted me and my feelings afterward. I didn’t expect to feel so emotionally exposed. I have had so many feelings after she died.. regrets, frustration, sadness and just an empty space in my heart for a friend I would never be able to say I love you to again, nor tell how precious she was to me, and in which I kept ruminating on the positive memories on which were leading me to tears when alone still.
This morning a friend shared this on Facebook and I found it so poetic and true that I stole it from her to share with you. I don’t think she’d mind. Death and dying, especially those coping with the loss of a suicide, are left with so much love unsaid…this quote says it more eloquently than any other description of grief than I have heard of in my career. I hope you might agree.
My recommendation to you is that if you are facing a loss of any kind that you find a safe person with whom you can process the loss with and be able to share your feelings with. Feelings left unsaid and kept inside us have to go somewhere eventually if not dealt with. Even I know that and will be sharing with a friend, I hope, who can understand and we can hopefully support each other as we grieve.