Everyone needs someone to love them…a partner, a friend, etc. I grew up feeling unlovable. I was the third of three girls and my father came home from the hospital the night I was born and sat down and told my maternal grandmother in a despondent voice “it’s another girl.” I, also, came home from the hospital before my mother who was sick when I was born and I felt my father blamed me for my mother’s illness. Add on top, I was the only blond and blue eyed girl in my family and my older sisters would tell me that I was adopted all the time. Add on top of these things the trauma I experienced as a child and I thought I was unlovable.
I remember the first person who I actually felt loved by and when that person left my life, I was depressed and despondent. I couldn’t tell them the damage did by simply walking out of my life without telling me why. I know now they were incapable of doing so for their own issues but it left a wound that was deep and has never fully healed.
I wish I could provide love for all who feel unlovable and unworthy but I have limited energy and resources. I feel called to do share with those I can and pay forward what was given to me.
“To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.” Dr. Seuss