Had a friend over today. We went shopping and got a few things. Decided to get a few grocery items that were proteins and simple things I could eat without having to do meal prep.
Last week when I saw my dietician she said that I appeared to be using my appts and being out and about as an excuse to avoid eating. She challenged me to get a few items like protein bars (which my friend helped me find Gluten Free ones! Yeah!), trail mix or nuts, etc., that I could keep with me while I was out doing appts so I would at least eat something and work towards eating three times a day. So I accomplished this task today with help and some accountability from my friend.
I have still been wrestling with Step 1 of the 12 Steps in terms of whether my eating disorder relapse is out of control. I have not been able to come to any resolution on this other than deciding to make the best choice I can for “right now.” I may mess up and I may fail miserably some days but this also allows me the opportunity to make the decisions one at a time versus tackling the whole problem at once. I’m not sure I am able to do that yet. Each time I can make a positive decision, it takes a little pressure off of me.